Apparently my attitude started at a young age.
I don't remember too much of this party, and I'm not sure who had the bright idea to take a girl 1 week shy of 4 years old through the haunted house, but we did it. Besides being absolutely terrified by the strobe lights and black trash bag walls(yeah they went all out), about halfway through someone grabbed my foot and managed to pull off my red Dorothy slipper. Hell-to-the-no, you do not mess with mama's shoes! At this point, I completely lost my shit and all I remember is freaking the eff out until my Daddy went back in and got my shoe.
Fast forward about 19-ish years and I had been dating my now husband for about 6 months. His two cousins had come in town for a weekend and everyone had been discussing ALL day about how they wanted to go to haunted houses later that night. I stood my ground and told them time and time again that I would go, but there was no effing way I was walking through those stupid haunted houses.
We get to the site, where I learn that there is not one haunted house but three. GREAT. While Layne, his sister and two cousins get in line to buy tickets, I hang out and practice my deep breathing so I don't have a panic attack. Layne comes back to inform me that he decided to go ahead and buy me a ticket and to "trust him, it will be fun." After much deliberation, some guilt tripping and me being the new-ish girlfriend who's afraid that her BF just wasted $40 on a ticket I begrudgingly agree to try one.(Today I would tell him to take that $40 and shove it where the sun doesn't shine while I hiked my happy ass back to the truck! aaaahhh marriage.)
Back to the story. The first attraction they decide we should try is the chainsaw maze, um excuse me? You have a girl here who is terrified and you decide the best option is to have her chased through a maze by MULTIPLE people with chainsaws? F.M.L. I decide that because there are 5 of us, I can just stay towards the middle of the group, and I'll make it out unscathed. Wrong. It takes about 3.5 seconds for the cousins and little sister to bolt and I am stuck with just the boyfriend. After about 5 wrong turns I am in full blown panic mode. The tears start coming shortly after and I close my eyes trying to let Layne steer me out of this hell hole.
Do you know what those ass holes do to people that are scared in haunted houses? They make it worse. I literally had people getting in front of me and tripping me so that I would be forced to open my eyes and look at them. Approximately 28 hours later(or 5 minutes), we finally made our way through the glorious exit. Once Layne saw how terrified I was and that I couldn't stop shaking we booked it straight to the concession stand where I nabbed the biggest margarita they had to offer, and proceeded to spend the next 2 hours letting everyone else wait in line and take brief tours of hell.
The only good thing that came out of that horrible experience is that to this day, the husband has NEVER asked me to go to a stupid haunted house ever again.
I'm all for Halloween, but as far as I'm concerned, haunted houses can suck it!
XOXO
Brittany
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